I like this snip from St. Francis de Sales:
But would you know, Philothea, which are the best abjections, I tell you plainly, that those are the most profitable to our souls, and most acceptable to God, which befall us by accident, or by our condition of life, because we have not chosen them ourselves, but receive them as sent from God, whose choice is always better than our own. (Introduction to the Devout Life, III.6)
It is easy to go easy on ourselves when we have to suffer some difficulty or trouble of our own choosing. But when they come upon us out of the blue or because of who and what we are, it is much less fun. Our saint says that nevertheless the patient endurance of the latter is more pleasing to God when we receive them as sent by Him. Why? Because He knows best what we need. He is in the business of making saints of us, if we will let Him, and He knows exactly what we need in order to achieve that end.